i loved the way she said la.

"She goes to California, oh / California: not so far
When I close my eyes and wonder where you are
And you wish upon a star / two thousand miles doesn't seem so far."

SIX FOR SIX.

(by date accepted)

i should be proud about this, and i am, really. i feel like i knew myself well enough to know where i'd get in and where i wouldn't, to know where i'd be seen as a person and where i'd be counted as just another number in a stack.

but to be honest, i'd much rather give at least one of these acceptances to someone else. right now, they need it much more than i do.

fuck this.

the zamoras.

making uci less appealing, one day at a time.

UCI

little by little, the idea is becoming more and more comforting. in three months, i'll be outta here. away from oxford. waking up and not dreading school. not sitting in calculus waiting for 12:45, slowly, painfully. no more filing. no more curfew. free to run and scream and breathe, to embrace life and become myself, finally, not worrying about a thing.

it's a new love i feel, an overflow of security and joy and peace. an overwhelming sense of peace, and i love everything. i enjoy discussing the future with my past because it feels like everything has come full circle. love lost friends lost, heart days and feeling lost, worn away by the passage of time, now back. i love my boyfriend. i love my pius friends. i love old acquaintances and new ones and the smiles of strangers. hello good day, i'm finally awake, how can i make you feel better?

share the feeling with the world. smile, cry, offer words of comfort. most of all, love. things are moving, changing, and now isn't the time to sigh and wonder why and what if--no, just ride along. time to fly, love. dream, wish, dance, paint with light on a hill at three in the morning, wake up somewhere new, scream 'til you can't anymore, take a picture of your heart.

the future's waiting, waiting, love. and this time, i'm not getting left behind.

Sunsets and Car Crashes

"and after three long years, i think that we both need this.

so we seal the deal in a parking lot with a kiss."

(the chorus)

It's all right if you cry and cover your eyes
It's ok if you scream like a girl
I won't tell anyone if you promise the same
'Cause I'm scared of the whole world

It's all right if you sigh, put your head next to mine
It's ok if you curl up in a ball
'Cause I might give it a try and end in the same
Condition after all

(it goes)
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Is it all right if I'm sad and feeling let down
Is it ok if I'm not myself again
Will you love me the same if I promise to breathe
And count from 1 to 10
Is it alright if I lose track of the world
Is it ok if I hide from the unknown
Will you tell me again the story about
how I'm not alone

(it goes)
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Walk away from the life you want
and sing the chorus of the broken hearted