sa·to·ri

i loved the way she said la.

2009-03-31T23:26:00.000-07:00

"She goes to California, oh / California: not so far
When I close my eyes and wonder where you are
And you wish upon a star / two thousand miles doesn't seem so far."

SIX FOR SIX.

2009-03-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

(by date accepted)

i should be proud about this, and i am, really. i feel like i knew myself well enough to know where i'd get in and where i wouldn't, to know where i'd be seen as a person and where i'd be counted as just another number in a stack.

but to be honest, i'd much rather give at least one of these acceptances to someone else. right now, they need it much more than i do.

fuck this.

2009-03-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

the zamoras.

making uci less appealing, one day at a time.

UCI

2009-03-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

little by little, the idea is becoming more and more comforting. in three months, i'll be outta here. away from oxford. waking up and not dreading school. not sitting in calculus waiting for 12:45, slowly, painfully. no more filing. no more curfew. free to run and scream and breathe, to embrace life and become myself, finally, not worrying about a thing.

it's a new love i feel, an overflow of security and joy and peace. an overwhelming sense of peace, and i love everything. i enjoy discussing the future with my past because it feels like everything has come full circle. love lost friends lost, heart days and feeling lost, worn away by the passage of time, now back. i love my boyfriend. i love my pius friends. i love old acquaintances and new ones and the smiles of strangers. hello good day, i'm finally awake, how can i make you feel better?

share the feeling with the world. smile, cry, offer words of comfort. most of all, love. things are moving, changing, and now isn't the time to sigh and wonder why and what if--no, just ride along. time to fly, love. dream, wish, dance, paint with light on a hill at three in the morning, wake up somewhere new, scream 'til you can't anymore, take a picture of your heart.

the future's waiting, waiting, love. and this time, i'm not getting left behind.

Sunsets and Car Crashes

2009-03-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

"and after three long years, i think that we both need this.

so we seal the deal in a parking lot with a kiss."

(the chorus)

2009-03-02T20:47:00.001-08:00

It's all right if you cry and cover your eyes
It's ok if you scream like a girl
I won't tell anyone if you promise the same
'Cause I'm scared of the whole world

It's all right if you sigh, put your head next to mine
It's ok if you curl up in a ball
'Cause I might give it a try and end in the same
Condition after all

(it goes)
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Is it all right if I'm sad and feeling let down
Is it ok if I'm not myself again
Will you love me the same if I promise to breathe
And count from 1 to 10
Is it alright if I lose track of the world
Is it ok if I hide from the unknown
Will you tell me again the story about
how I'm not alone

(it goes)
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Walk away from the life you want
and sing the chorus of the broken hearted

good morning.

2009-02-02T03:54:00.000-08:00

"sweetie? sweetie, wake up.

you might miss something beautiful."

love.

2008-12-13T21:48:00.000-08:00

--------------------------------- 21:07
---------------------------------
KANx4xEVER: I missed you alot
KANx4xEVER: :)
KANx4xEVER: :-*
KANx4xEVER: I really did
KANx4xEVER: mhmm
--------------------------------- 21:14
---------------------------------
KANx4xEVER: I dunno
KANx4xEVER: not much happened today
KANx4xEVER: im still sick
KANx4xEVER: so I tried to relax
--------------------------------- 21:28
---------------------------------
KANx4xEVER: I thought about you
KANx4xEVER: the whole day
KANx4xEVER: :)
--------------------------------- 21:31
---------------------------------
joshhhhhhhhhhhh: k
joshhhhhhhhhhhh: lol
KANx4xEVER: oh shittt
KANx4xEVER: wrong window

- - - - -- - - -- - - - -

the things we say when we're in a relationship must really sound silly to other people, but you know what?

it's better that way. :)

<3

wishes.

2008-11-02T07:32:00.000-08:00

i wish for:

-the determination to hold onto things that are worthwhile to me.
-the patience never to take things for granted.
-the compassion to love and treat him the way he should be loved and treated.
-the confidence to step out from behind the lens.
-the faith and the knowledge to reconcile my beliefs and my religion.
-the self-awareness never to settle, but always to grow; to question my life plans and to figure out what will truly make me happy.
-the strength to believe in the power of a wish.

fuck.

2008-10-24T22:52:00.001-07:00

...i don't want to go through this again.

mute.

2008-10-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

-- - -- - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

help.

questions.

2008-10-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

i've been asking a lot of questions lately.

"would you rather..." and "what if..."

if... i didn't say "yes."

if... i made a better time of it at oxford.

if... i made it into i and you didn't.

if... you made it into i and i didn't.

to be honest, i think i'm just afraid, and somehow questions help me cope. i guess by thinking about all the possibilities, i know that whatever happens, i won't be surprised. nothing can hurt me.

i guess i'm more freaked out by the future than i thought.

but that's okay.

because if anything, at least we still make sense.

and that will always go without question.

<3

third person.

2008-10-10T23:45:00.000-07:00

"there really isn't anywhere i'd rather be than lying right here with you."

happy anniversary.

2008-10-05T17:38:00.000-07:00

okay, so i haven't had time to update this for a reason. i've been working on something. hopefully i'll have enough money for it by your birthday.

in the meantime, here's a sneak peak. :)

pius festival!

2008-09-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

pius family <33
forever and ever, babe.

wannabe!
(@ the karaoke booth)

lol @ jackie's face. haha.

i love my girls.
four years strong.

and we just keep getting closer. :)

hello.

2008-09-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

there's a story that goes along with this. i wonder if you'll remember. :)

Things That Make Me Happier :D

2008-09-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

happy thoughts.

2008-09-19T21:38:00.000-07:00

cloudy days.

2008-09-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

if it was possible, i would make the entire year summer. i would make it so that the sunset was at 8:30 each night and goodbyes would just keep getting put off later and later until they're not even said at all. my dream is to be able to go out and come home whenever i want to, to walk everywhere, to always take the long way home. freedom. small, but glorious freedom.

but then i have days like this and i remember why God is such a genius. really. i always forget that cloudy days are just as fun as sunny days. they just have this power over me. like, i need to sit and think about life. i need to have long conversations about nothing. i need to curl up next to friends and talk on the phone for hours. i need to ride my bike to nowhere. i need to ask questions. i need to learn things about the people i love. cloudy days are thoughtful days, and though i usually start them out feeling crummy, by the end of it, man. without it even raining, suddenly i feel so recharged, so refreshed.

if you ask me, i'll tell you that i often regret not being more sociable. i regret not having more friends to go out with all the time. i regret not having friends who share my exact same interests. i regret growing apart from the closest friends i had.

but then i have days like this, and i remember why. i remember why i love the people i do. i remember that no one else will think about what'll happen to us after we die and want to be reincarnated as ducks instead of living in heaven for eternity. i remember that no one else will appreciate me so much as to constantly thank me for being in her life even if we never see each other. i remember that no one else will ever, ever make me so happy just by being there with me. no one else will listen to me complain and carry or tickle me anyway because he knows i just won't admit i like it. no one else will purposely lose at the kissing game and make up stupid rules as an excuse. no one else will hold me like he does, or listen to me like he does, or care for me like he does and constantly make me feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the world.

and that's okay. because they're all i need.

i just can't believe it took me so long to realize.

a softer world.

2008-09-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

satellite images
maps and blueprints
of the whole world
of every city

we could look it up
and know what's there
in someone else's words

or we could
get wicked drunk

and just

go.

- a softer world.

the first time.

2008-08-31T02:58:00.000-07:00

"I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as a sky under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Well maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time"

2008-08-26T14:02:00.001-07:00

Reply to this post, and I will list three things I love about

you. Maybe more than three. Then repost to your own journal and spread the love.

-- - - -- - -- - - - - - - -

because he's my best friend. because i can always spot him in the middle of a crowd. because i can never stay mad at him. because he listens to what i have to say. because he's a dork. because he hates scary movies. because he always makes my day, even if it's been the worst day ever. because he taught his sister my name was "rhino." because he has never cussed at me. because he writes me love letters. because i want to make him happy. because he's a puuhead. because i believe in him. because he appreciates me. because i feel more at home with him than anyone or anywhere else. because he looks forward to my crummy posts. because he puts up with my stupid questions. because he holds my hand when i drive. because he always makes sure i'm okay. because he sings for me even if he doesn't think he's good at it. because he's there for me. because he accepts me. because he makes me smile. because he's comfortable around me. because of the way i fit in his arms.

and most of all, because he was willing to take a chance.

thank you. <3

i hope it was worth it.

ten random things about me.

2008-08-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

TEN Random Things About Me
1. i was going to be a gypsy when i grew up.
2. i hate when it's hot and cloudy. for some reason, i'm convinced it means an earthquake is on the way.
3. my favorite flowers are dandelions and forget-me-nots.
4. one day, i want someone to read a book that reminds them of me and give it to me as a gift.
5. i really miss writing.
6. my voice is embarrassingly high. i don't know how people can stand it.
7. i suffer from slight anorexia. the smallest bit of pudge and i have to fast for a day.
8. when i'm quiet, it usually means i'm thinking about something.
9. i always order unsweetened iced tea.
10. i love dancing, but i totally suck at it. x)

NINE Ways To Win My Heart
1. take me on a walk. extra points if there's something pretty to look at.

2. remember the little things.
3. sing for me.
4. be patient with me. i've been bruised and broken over the years, so i have to be a little more careful/sensitive than most.
5. have a passion and stick to it. i like seeing you happy.
6. i don't care if you look at other girls; you're a guy. it's hard-wired. but try not to do it when i'm around. at the end of the day, i like to think i'm the only one that really matters.
7. call me if you know you won't see me for a while. it's nice knowing i'm on your mind.
8. never say never. if i'm worth it, you'll find a way.
9. take an interest in my life. i might never be quite as fun or entertaining or popular as you, but what matters to me matters, and i'd love to share them with the person i care about most.

EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. be fluent in another language.
2. travel the world.
3. write a book/screenplay/extensive journalism piece and be known for it.
4. make a wish on a shooting star.
5. decorate my own house/apartment.
6. learn how to play guitar.
7. watch the sunrise.
8. send a message in a bottle.

SEVEN Ways To Annoy Me
1. drive slow.
2. drive stupidly.
3. talk down to me.
4. argue with me without considering my side.
5. take me for granted.
6. talk about me behind my back.
7. talk about my friends behind their backs.

SIX Things I Believe in?
1. God.
2. the overall goodness of humanity.
3. love.
4. karma.
5. free speech/will.
6. destiny.

FIVE Things I am Afraid Of
1. earthquakes.
2. crawling insects.
3. being hurt.
4. losing friends/love.
5. dying young.

FOUR Favorite Items In My Room
1. computer.
2. camera.
3. book shelves.
4. bed.

THREE Things I Do Everyday
1. check myspace/deviantart/livejournal/facebook/uber/blogspot/twitter/youtube/etc.
2. think of youuuu. haha.
3. brush my hair a million times.

TWO Things I Want To Do Right Now
1. nap.
2. write.

ONE person I want to see right now
1. kan dang and arianna castillo.

psh. rules? what rules?

after today.

2008-08-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

( my summer bucket list )

~~-sneak out of the house~~
~~-go to disneyland~~
~~-kiss someone under the fireworks~~

~~-fly :)~~

wish list.

2008-08-13T07:15:00.000-07:00

sentimentality.

2008-08-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

11.15.06

Falling in love makes you a dreamer. You see you both on the first date, long before it takes place, imagine the time you will spend together

There´s an old saying - you like someone "because." "Because" they have blue eyes, or a pretty smile, or a cute nose. You love someone "even though." Even though he´s not rich, even though she´s not an excellent cook. Liking means you´re fond of their good traits. Love means you accept them fully even though they´re not perfect.

When you like someone, you´re nervous about saying the right thing, or how they´ll react to something, or how things will go on the next date. When you love someone, you are content and comfortable just being with your partner. Whether you curl up side by side with books on a rainy evening, or spend hours over dinner in a local restaurant, it´s nice just to spend time with each other.

Real love is when you love someone without asking for anything in return. It's when even a passing smile can make your day, a small pat on the back can make you feel alive and the mere sound of his/her voice can move you to break out into a song inside. Real love isn't fate nor it is written in the stars. You yourself have to make love happen. It's a choice, a commitment that you stand up for. and even if you're uncertain if he/she loves you back, you take the risk of facing whatever pain that would come your way simply because you believe he/she is worth everything . . . and more . . .

When love hits you . . . you really don't have any idea what to do. That's what's so great about it.

He annoys at you constantly, but he's only asking for your attention.

You can't believe you let them go

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

----- - -- - -- - - - - - -

call me a creeper for looking through your old posts, but to be honest, i love reading them. it's like i'm getting a first-hand look at some chapter of your life, some part of you i wouldn't normally get to see.

day-to-day, there are always so many other things, so many distractions, which get in the way of everything we really want to say. and i guess reading what you post is a way for me to see what truly mattered to you, what you cared about enough to set aside a few minutes of your day to write about. sometimes it's school; most times it's dance.

but every so often, i'm lucky enough to find that it's me ~~(except i think in this case, it's katherine. haha, w/e)~~ . . .

and whenever that happens,

it's really like i'm the luckiest girl in the world. :)

the process.

2008-08-08T19:55:00.000-07:00

"It starts with one discreet desire to hold you close when everything starts making sense. So we jump start the process; move faster, we're losing faith. I never meant to push you away.

Tonight, I'll be searching for you, finding my way back to all the promises that we made.

When it comes, there's no reaction that could change my mind, 'cause I've been waiting for so long to restart the cycle and revive the memory. Give me just one chance; that's all I'll need.

Times when I was lost and cold, I looked to you to pull me through. Now I need to tell you that you were the best I ever had.

And we have come so far, but our lives may never change...

Tonight, I'll be searching for you, finding my way back to all the promises that we made.

Tonight, I'll be searching for you, finding my way back to all the promises that we made."

<3

- - - - - - -

i made that video almost nine months ago. funny how these things work out. :)

homework goals

2008-08-04T19:49:00.000-07:00

START/COMPLETION DATES

brave new world: started/august 10
--50 pgs/day

1984: august 11/august 17
--???

mythology: august 11/august 17
--???

bible: august 10/august 15*
--???

essay: august 15/august 22*
--???

euro: august 15/august 30*
--???

anonymous meme.

2008-07-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

Write twenty-five different statements about twenty-five different people without saying who each statement is written about. They can either be things that you wish you could say, things that you wish you could have said, or things that you would never say.

1. i know you're afraid of change, and that's why you've been more distant lately. i know you're wondering, "where did my best friend go? where's the emo girl with the multiple bracelets and studs and skulls? where's the girl who would never get caught dancing in public, who never listened to hip-hop or r&b, and who always needed my help?" sometimes, i wonder where the old me went, too. but i promise, our friendship is something you'll never have to question. ever.

2. even though i don't really have much to do with the fandom anymore, i still totally miss you and cait!face and our long, pointless conversations. i also miss how you always seemed to know how to make me feel better whenever i was in an artistic rut. i was always in awe of you and your art and your writing, and the fact that you could look at mine and find some value in it really meant a lot to me. you have no freaking idea.

3. sometimes i wonder what would have happened to us if you ever had the guts to ask me out. i hear you're pretty anti-social these days and that makes me sad. i hope one day, you'll find a girl who'll take the extra effort to get to know you. i'm sure she won't be disappointed.

4. i miss you! one of us needs to find a way to visit the other ASAP or i swear i'm going to explode.

5. it didn't occur to me until just recently how much i've changed over the past few years, and i guess i have you to thank for that. i've told you this before. my life has always been about art and literature and philosophies and all that jazz, and of course i love them. they're who i am. they're how the world sees me. and i won't lie, i like being seen as the cool indie girl, the one who's kind of aloof, but who's probably a really interesting person once you get to know her. but there's also that part of me who always wanted to be someone else, who wanted to be more outgoing, more sociable, less constricted by the stereotypes people put on her. and little by little, i'm starting to see those changes in myself. i also told you that i was afraid of losing my "weird" factor because it meant i was becoming less "me," but to be honest, now, i think i'm more myself than i've ever been in my entire life. thank you.

6. i'm still sorry for what happened between us, and i think our dating is the one thing i will allow myself to regret. i lost a great friend because of it. i miss being able to stay after school with you and talk about nothing. i miss singing along to you strumming along on your guitar. i miss being able to run up and hug you whenever i felt like it. most of all, i miss how you would always listen and how you would make me feel like, at least for that moment, talking to me and hearing what i had to say was the most important thing in the world. i didn't realize how lucky i was.

7. i've never met you, but i can honestly say i despise you. i'm slowly getting over it, and it feels good to let myself let go. i even deleted his passwords off my computer to promise myself to start trusting him again, or at least to start building back that trust. and i know i really shouldn't blame you or even be that mad, since we were broken up at the time and you're just a kid. but i guess, the fact that he needed to be with you, and the fact that it was you--a girl he has a lot more in common with than me, a girl he can easily associate his passion with, and a girl he never has to see beyond your little adventures--it kills me. and i don't think i've ever felt this bad.

8. i hate you for breaking down on me, especially now that i have to take a day-long bus ride with my mom. i swear i can't wait for my birthday so i can replace you. piece of junk.

9. i'm really sorry for what's going on in your family right now, and i hope you all pull through. you've been there for me forever, even when i sort of pushed you away in favor of someone else. but now it's my turn to do the same for you. call me whenever you need anything or if you just want me to come over or make you food or cheer you up. i don't know if will and edwin have enough estrogen to handle cheering someone up; sometimes, you need a girl for those sorts of things. so yeah, just let me know. i'll be right here waiting.

10. your chapter in my life seems so far away from me right now. i'm finding it so hard to remember anything, maybe because the both of us have changed so much since then. we used to be the same kind of person: smart, angry, sarcastic, but now i see you're happier and i'm less angry and i won't just be a shadow of your editorship year, which makes me feel better. you were an amazing writer and a great influence on my life and my view of oxford in general. but i still think it's funny how i started hyperventilating when you visited. i felt so lame. haha.

11. your reign has ended, bitchhhhhh. time to show oxford what the gamut can really do. >D

12. quit mocking me from the bottom of my desk drawer. i'll get around to you eventually. besides, i've got a month left. that's plenty of time.

13. out of everyone in my family, i think you're the one i care about most, and i'm so sorry that you've had to deal with all our parents' shit throughout the years. you are not just my shadow, you are not just brandon's shadow; you're you. and i wish you would only realize it. doing well in school, blahhh, who cares? you're a good person, and the friendships and people skills you gain are going to be what carries you. don't end up pissy and alone like our parents. you'll be much happier. i promise you.

14. why do You have to go and let things like this happen? i know it's a part of life and i really shouldn't question You, but really, this all kind of sucks.

15. ...i do. i will. i always have. i was willing to spend the rest of my life (or at least my time at oxford) being miserable just so i could be with you. i'm not sure you realize how hard it's been pretending, trying to convince myself i didn't care, seeing sides of you i hoped i'd never see, that i didn't even know existed. back then, i knew you would never hurt me. i could feel it. when you did... i don't know. i wasn't sure if i could believe anything anymore. and you expect me to believe that after a week away, you've finally come to this conclusion? i want to, you know i do. but after prom and everything that's happened, all those times you've said these words and never meant them, and that situation with her, part of me wonders if you even know the meaning anymore.

i'm not asking for a lot, but baby, i need to see it, feel it. words just won't cut it.

...more later, maybe.

SILENCE! I KEEL JOO!

2008-07-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

THANK YOU.

you know why. :)

surf open 2008.

2008-07-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

surf open 2008 / l7 reunion

location: huntington beach, CA

i don't know when we started doing this. haha, oh well.

failed one tree hill status. notice: the smart ones are wearing sunglasses, just so you can't tell they're blinking.

ahhh, i freaking love them.

you have no idea.

<3

EDIT:
(my photos)

mhmm, that's right. my friends are freaking celebrities. ;)

for you, i will.

2008-07-21T17:38:00.000-07:00

"I'm wandering the streets in a world underneath it all. Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet as what I can't have. . . Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair 'round your finger. Tonight, I'm not afraid to tell you what I feel about you.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have, and cannonball into the water. I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have . . .

For you, I will. For you, I will.

Forgive me if I st-stutter from all the clutter in my head, 'cause I could fall asleep in those eyes, like a water bed. Do I seem familiar? I've crossed you in hallways a thousand times. No more camouflage, I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have, and cannonball into the water. I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have . . .

For you, I will.

You always what you can't have, but I've got to try. I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have . . .

For you, I will. For you, I will. For you, I will.

For you . . .

If I could dim the lights in the mall and create a mood, I would . . . and shout out your name so it echoes in every room, I would.

That's what I'd do . . .
That's what I'd do . . .

To get through to you."

fortune cookies...

2008-07-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

are only good for one thing.

the rules are simple: add the words "in bed" to the end of every fortune. haha, enjoy.

and my personal favorite:

:)

- - - - -

in other news, i found heath ledger as a psychopath oddly attractive. mm, good stuff. <3

And we try; it's too easy just to fall apart...

2008-07-13T18:26:00.000-07:00

hm, three posts in a day. i believe that's a new record. haha, life is good.

anyway, i am considering getting a perm (similar to miss bledel here. ~~and, omfg, her outfit ♥~~). thoughts?

platypuses.

2008-07-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

so i have a theory: i think that the platypus was originally a duck. it had feathers and quacked and laid eggs, and was born around the same time as the first set of mammals right after the dinosaurs got nuked. one day, this duck got sat on and squished by a mammoth. when God went to look for the duck, He couldn't find it and thought it got lost, so He created another duck to replace it. then the mammoth stood up.

the end. :)

universal studios : recap

2008-07-13T05:12:00.000-07:00

KaNx4xEveR (10:12:12 PM): hello

fightheskye (10:24:04 PM): hi :-)
KaNx4xEveR (10:24:11 PM): YAYA!

KaNx4xEveR (10:24:13 PM): how are you?

fightheskye (10:24:30 PM): haha. overexcited much?

fightheskye (10:24:32 PM): i'm good

fightheskye (10:24:34 PM): i'm cold

KaNx4xEveR (10:25:10 PM): haha

fightheskye (10:25:11 PM): i watched a dude break at the citywalk. :-D

KaNx4xEveR (10:25:12 PM): blanket

KaNx4xEveR (10:25:14 PM): nicee

KaNx4xEveR (10:25:16 PM): :-)

KaNx4xEveR (10:25:20 PM): attracted to him?

fightheskye (10:25:29 PM): nahhh, it was just aiight :P

[...]

fightheskye (10:33:06 PM): i got a godzilla shirt :-)

fightheskye (10:33:11 PM): it's pretty spiffy

[...]

fightheskye (10:43:07 PM): haha

fightheskye (10:43:12 PM): hmm how was your day?

KaNx4xEveR (10:43:21 PM): horrible

fightheskye (10:44:06 PM): :-(

fightheskye (10:44:08 PM): why?

KaNx4xEveR (10:44:15 PM): i didn't talk to you

KaNx4xEveR (10:44:18 PM): in the afternoon

KaNx4xEveR (10:44:22 PM): andi wanted to call you

KaNx4xEveR (10:44:23 PM): but i cant

KaNx4xEveR (10:44:25 PM): ughhh

fightheskye (10:44:51 PM): :-( i'm sorry

KaNx4xEveR (10:45:00 PM): it's okay

KaNx4xEveR (10:45:00 PM): haha

fightheskye (10:45:03 PM): the rules will wear off eventually

KaNx4xEveR (10:45:15 PM): eventually could be FOREVER

[...]

fightheskye (10:57:23 PM): hm you should be able to purchase choir tickets for all the shows at the beginning of the year

fightheskye (10:57:30 PM): like...an annual passs sort of thing

KaNx4xEveR (10:57:34 PM): you can

KaNx4xEveR (10:57:36 PM): hah

fightheskye (10:57:37 PM): really?

fightheskye (10:57:39 PM): REALLLY?

fightheskye (10:57:40 PM): DUDE

KaNx4xEveR (10:57:40 PM): LOL

KaNx4xEveR (10:57:43 PM): HAHAHAAHA

KaNx4xEveR (10:57:43 PM): xD

fightheskye (10:57:46 PM): nuh uh

KaNx4xEveR (10:57:47 PM): ROTFLLLLLL

KaNx4xEveR (10:57:48 PM): YEAHHH

KaNx4xEveR (10:57:50 PM): YOU CANNN

KaNx4xEveR (10:57:51 PM): HAHAAHAHA

fightheskye (10:57:52 PM): DUDE

fightheskye (10:57:55 PM): askldjaskldjaslkd

fightheskye (10:58:03 PM): why doesn't anyone tell me these things?

fightheskye (10:58:04 PM): DD:

[...]

KaNx4xEveR (11:15:42 PM): when can i see and talk to you again?

KaNx4xEveR (11:15:42 PM): :-(

fightheskye (11:16:02 PM): :-( monday?

KaNx4xEveR (11:16:11 PM): are you sure?

KaNx4xEveR (11:16:29 PM): isn't that risky?

fightheskye (11:16:32 PM): yeahh. both parents are working

fightheskye (11:17:14 PM): i dunno. it should be okay.

KaNx4xEveR (11:17:16 PM): i thought yo daddy said

KaNx4xEveR (11:17:23 PM): he wasn't working?

fightheskye (11:17:46 PM): he said his first day is monday

fightheskye (11:18:14 PM): i guess his vacation was only a week

KaNx4xEveR (11:18:23 PM): errr

KaNx4xEveR (11:18:24 PM): okay...

fightheskye (11:18:48 PM): i dunno. soon, then.

fightheskye (11:19:11 PM): :O

fightheskye (11:20:15 PM): if my dad doesn't hate me anymore, maybe i can go to surf open on friday. and maybe you can go to huntington that day. and maybe you'll get to see me in a swim suit.

fightheskye (11:20:17 PM): :O

KaNx4xEveR (11:20:42 PM): lol

KaNx4xEveR (11:20:49 PM): woww

KaNx4xEveR (11:20:51 PM): good job

KaNx4xEveR (11:20:59 PM): that's like foolproof negotiation

KaNx4xEveR (11:21:00 PM): haha

KaNx4xEveR (11:21:03 PM): 100%

fightheskye (11:21:15 PM): :-D i deserve a prize

KaNx4xEveR (11:21:48 PM): haha

KaNx4xEveR (11:21:50 PM): come and get it

KaNx4xEveR (11:21:50 PM): :-)

fightheskye (11:22:29 PM): you mean... you still have pumpkin pie left over? :PP

fightheskye (11:22:35 PM): haha, kidding, kidding

KaNx4xEveR (11:22:46 PM): lol

KaNx4xEveR (11:22:49 PM): i actually do

fightheskye (11:22:52 PM): xD

KaNx4xEveR (11:22:52 PM): you want me ot use it?

KaNx4xEveR (11:22:53 PM): haha

KaNx4xEveR (11:22:55 PM): ya nasty

KaNx4xEveR (11:22:56 PM): xD

fightheskye (11:23:47 PM): yeahh w/e. you like it. :P

fightheskye (11:23:48 PM): haha

KaNx4xEveR (11:23:54 PM): HAHA

[...]

fightheskye (11:26:36 PM): http://youtube.com/watch?v=iB-m8NH9Ajs

fightheskye (11:26:45 PM): you really should watch this show

KaNx4xEveR (11:26:51 PM): i should?

fightheskye (11:26:57 PM): yes, you should

fightheskye (11:27:30 PM): because it's awesome. and you're awesome. and awesome people should always be surrounded by awesome things

fightheskye (11:27:31 PM): :-)

KaNx4xEveR (11:27:48 PM): haha

KaNx4xEveR (11:27:50 PM): dangg

KaNx4xEveR (11:27:52 PM): you're so pro

KaNx4xEveR (11:27:53 PM): lol

KaNx4xEveR (11:28:37 PM): you're on a roll

KaNx4xEveR (11:28:38 PM): haha

[...]

fightheskye (11:35:48 PM): ooh, on the studio tour, you know the part where you go to the bates motel/psycho set?

KaNx4xEveR (11:35:53 PM): uhmm

KaNx4xEveR (11:35:55 PM): yeahh

fightheskye (11:36:01 PM): there was actually a dude

fightheskye (11:36:02 PM): there

fightheskye (11:36:06 PM): it was freaky

fightheskye (11:36:11 PM): he was walking around the hotel

fightheskye (11:36:24 PM): and he dragged this woman's (doll's) body out to his car

fightheskye (11:36:31 PM): and then he looked over at the tram

fightheskye (11:36:37 PM): and started walking over very slowly

fightheskye (11:36:51 PM): but of course it's a show so the tram started pulling away very slowly

fightheskye (11:37:33 PM): and by the time he was at the tram he was like, right behind us, and he took out a knife and grabbed the side of the tram and shook it a little bit and then we pulled away

fightheskye (11:37:49 PM): but as we were driving away he kept looking at us with this creeper smile

fightheskye (11:38:00 PM): and as we were going up the cliff, he kept walking

fightheskye (11:38:21 PM): and when we rounded the corner and looked down, you could still see him staring up at us with the crazy smile

fightheskye (11:38:28 PM): it was kinda freakkyy

fightheskye (11:38:38 PM): .__>

fightheskye (11:38:40 PM): *.__.

KaNx4xEveR (11:38:54 PM): lol

KaNx4xEveR (11:39:01 PM): thats creepy

KaNx4xEveR (11:39:02 PM): haha

fightheskye (11:40:02 PM): i half expected him to get in the tram or follow us around all day

[...]

fightheskye (11:50:54 PM): mm, brb

KaNx4xEveR (11:51:26 PM): haha okay

[...]

KaNx4xEveR (1:30:05 AM): errr

KaNx4xEveR (1:30:11 AM): thats a long brb

KaNx4xEveR (1:30:11 AM): haha

KaNx4xEveR (1:30:12 AM): well

KaNx4xEveR (1:30:17 AM): i guess ill talk to you later

KaNx4xEveR (1:30:18 AM): good monring

KaNx4xEveR (1:30:20 AM): byee :-)

KaNx4xEveR signed off at 1:56:58 AM.

KaNx4xEveR is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.

fightheskye (5:06:16 AM): aww man

fightheskye (5:06:20 AM): -__-

i don't sleep like i'm dead, but i do fall asleep without realizing it. zonking out: 1 ; dominique: 0

even the wrong words seem to rhyme.

2008-07-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

( this is the tattoo i want to get the minute i turn 18. it's been decided. )

p.s. have i mentioned how much i love reading athena's blog? seriously.

"girls are like apples; the best ones are at the top of the trees. the boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. so the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. they just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”

have you ever...

2008-07-09T07:40:00.000-07:00

clark gable / the postal service
garden state

gone through a day or a night or a week or a lifetime wanting to hear just one song? you have no idea what it is or who it's by, but for some reason you just gotta hear it? and until you do (and as you get closer and closer to finding it--like you have some idea of what it sounds like and a few songs that are similar, but not quite it), you're excited, but anxious, happy, but sad, and you have this nagging feeling on your back (maybe some hormone of some sort) that you just can't seem to get rid of, but it's not annoying, never annoying, not even in the slightest?

...yeah. that was my morning.

i woke up, leaped the two foot distance from the top of my bed to my laptop at the bottom [okay, maybe it was more jumped up, then plummeted back down (i.e., "falling with style"), but w/e], threw my headphones on, and proceeded to scan through youtube, imeem, and pandora, just trying to figure it out.

i'm not even sure this one's the one, but it's pretty close. :)

"I want so badly to believe

That there is truth, that love is real"

♥

speaking of...i should start my euro hw. ahaha.

swing, swing.

2008-07-08T07:03:00.000-07:00

"can you help me find a way to carry on again?"

--all american rejects

7508

2008-07-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

california adventure,

july 5, 2008

so, a pretty good weekend overall, but i still wish that...

1) i had taken pictures on friday. even if he might think otherwise, kan dang is the most amazing date ever. you have no idea. <3
2) my dad wasn't such a douche. D< aklsjdlaksjd

oh well, family-free week ahead while my siblings are at camp/parents are in sd.

let's party ;)

movie quote meme

2008-06-30T06:52:00.000-07:00

1. Pick 8 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDB search functions

1. What some folks call impossible, is just stuff they haven't seen before.

2. It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

3. Joel: I had a really nice time last night.
Clementine: Nice?
Joel: I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life, last night!
Clementine: Thaaaat's better!

4. Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing.

5. You gotta hear this one song, it'll change your life I swear.

6. Gillian Owens: You ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast?
Antonia Owens: She does it all the time.
Gillian Owens: She does? Well, that's what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see that you're about to fall.

7. I'm pretty sure he was happy with his final resting place because he was buried on the mountain, and that was against the law.

8. I don't want to survive. I want to live.

five minutes to midnight.

2008-06-27T23:33:00.000-07:00

"Brown eyes and lungs are filled up with smoke/ Fast lives are stuck in the undertow / But you know the places I wanna go

"'Cause oh, oh, oh / I've got a sickness / You've got the cure / You've got the spunk I've been lookin' for / And I've got a plan we walk out the door

"Know you wanna just let go / It's time to roll down the windows / Sing it oh, oh, oh / Yeah, all we need / So here we go

"Turn it up / It's five minutes to midnight / You're coming home with me tonight / I can't get enough / Shakin' me up / Turn it up / Alright / At five minutes to midnight / You'll see our name in city lights / We'll make the clock stop / Make your heart drop / And come alive

"We could pack up / And leave all our things behind / No fact, or fiction, or storyline / 'Cause I need you more than just for tonight

"You're oh, oh, oh / All I care / I can't stop my breathing / I'm weak and you are my medicine / I won't stop 'til I am under your skin

"And when the clock strikes twelve / Will you find another boy to go and kiss and tell? / 'Cause you know I never will / I think we should strike a match / We'll hold it to the wind to see how long it lasts

"We can make the time stand still."

- - -

good morning kan. sleepyhead. amazing storyteller.
good afternoon gail. fun times at johnny rockets. now, let's find you a boy. ;)
good night kan. i think it's funny that your family greets me when i come over. feel better soon.

:) i love my friends.

"safe... when i'm with you, i feel so safe... like i'm home."

-andrew largeman / garden state

thank you.

<3

you are a sad, strange little man.

2008-06-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

so i think i need a job now. so i can buy my film camera. so i can take pictures more often. and not have my hands cramp from all the weight.

summer's only been about two weeks long, but those two weeks have been amazing. :)

there's a lot more to come. it'd be a shame not to remember it.

TO JOHNNY ROCKETS! AND BEYOND!

the bucket list

2008-06-25T12:22:00.001-07:00

my little sister
bass lake, CA

so i'm thinking i should really give up on these things. haha, journals, blogs, everything. i like to pretend to keep track of what's going on in my life, but in the end, i'm nothing but a lazy bum who'd rather sleep than chronicle my daily misadventures.

but then i remember i have horrible memory and can't keep track of everything on my own. ahahaha. ^^;

anyway, last night i was thinking about those "100 goals" we filled out in jensen in 9th grade and after the watching the bucket list (a-MAZING movie, by the way. i must compile a list of quotes soon), i figured, hey, why not come up with one for summer? i mean, HELL, this is our last real summer together. come next year, we'll all be flying off--chicago, massachusetts, san francisco--and we might never get the chance to do this shit again.

in other words: it's time to live it upppp :D

so, without further ado,

my summer bucket list

-have my first real sleepover
-take capoeira lessons
-go to a drive-in movie theatre
-try all the fried junk at the oc fair
-spend a night on the town
-watch the sunrise with someone
-throw something from the top of a ferris wheel
-hit on someone in a different language
-learn an entire song on the guitar and perform it
-fly :)
-have an all-night conversation (phone or in-person; not online)
-finish hw early. ahahah. xD
-get a jobbbb
-have a real photoshoot
-dance under the stars :)
-drive backwards through a fast food drive-thru
-horror movie night. 'nuff said.
-get a tattoo/obscure piercing
-have a picnic in a grocery store
-road trip/travel/college visit with a friend
~~-sneak out of the house~~
-ride a cart through the mall
-house partyyyy :D
~~-go to disneyland~~
~~-kiss someone under the fireworks :)~~
-have an amazing birthdayy

...more to come! :D

LET ME TOUCH SOMETHING!

2008-06-05T05:34:00.000-07:00

fell asleep yesterday without taking any photos. so, in lieu, a clip from boy meets world:

2008-06-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

got my license today and spent the afternoon discussing school/life/friends with grace and sarah.

ignore the hat. haha.

...i guess you could call this my first step to healing.

2008-06-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

Project 365 - Day One
"Inquisitive," taken at Exposition Park in Los Angeles

larger version at my flickr.

Paper, Rock, Scissors

2008-06-01T21:35:00.000-07:00

"And I can't wait to write you a letter for
every day that I can't bear.
You can fill these moments with words like forever,
but you gotta swear,
don't forget to remember me."

--JamisonParker

L7 ANTI-PROM 2008!
(location: mater dei and downtown disney)

"watching" jackie's play. :)
justin goei!
downtownnn...
powerpuff colors: totally unintentional.more pictures later...

anywayyy, fantastic choir show/girl's night out/run around/weekend in general.

thank you :)