cloudy days.

if it was possible, i would make the entire year summer. i would make it so that the sunset was at 8:30 each night and goodbyes would just keep getting put off later and later until they're not even said at all. my dream is to be able to go out and come home whenever i want to, to walk everywhere, to always take the long way home. freedom. small, but glorious freedom.

but then i have days like this and i remember why God is such a genius. really. i always forget that cloudy days are just as fun as sunny days. they just have this power over me. like, i need to sit and think about life. i need to have long conversations about nothing. i need to curl up next to friends and talk on the phone for hours. i need to ride my bike to nowhere. i need to ask questions. i need to learn things about the people i love. cloudy days are thoughtful days, and though i usually start them out feeling crummy, by the end of it, man. without it even raining, suddenly i feel so recharged, so refreshed.

if you ask me, i'll tell you that i often regret not being more sociable. i regret not having more friends to go out with all the time. i regret not having friends who share my exact same interests. i regret growing apart from the closest friends i had.

but then i have days like this, and i remember why. i remember why i love the people i do. i remember that no one else will think about what'll happen to us after we die and want to be reincarnated as ducks instead of living in heaven for eternity. i remember that no one else will appreciate me so much as to constantly thank me for being in her life even if we never see each other. i remember that no one else will ever, ever make me so happy just by being there with me. no one else will listen to me complain and carry or tickle me anyway because he knows i just won't admit i like it. no one else will purposely lose at the kissing game and make up stupid rules as an excuse. no one else will hold me like he does, or listen to me like he does, or care for me like he does and constantly make me feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the world.

and that's okay. because they're all i need.

i just can't believe it took me so long to realize.